What never was and never will be
by SimplyCuteBambi
Summary: my life would never be perfect. I would never be complete. There would be always be this hole in my chest waiting to be filled. Simply one-word would be my answer. Isabella. My best friend. Bedward one-shot


I heard the alarm ringing somewhere. I groaned and rolled over on my bed. I hit the alarm clock and sighed as I opened my eyes. They fluttered open as I slowly adjusted to the light. I wasn't really sleeping I was just pretending.

I got up slowly and headed to the balcony I sat there and watched the sunrise. It was so beautiful and peaceful so just for that moment right then and there everything was right. My whole world was perfect I was complete.

I watched the sunrise and smiled to myself. They say that with each ray of light the sun brings new hope . A new opportunity for everything and anything. All your dreams can come true and practically anything is possible.

I wondered if it was true and I sighed as I remembered why my life would never be perfect. I would never be complete. There would be always be this hole in my chest waiting to be filled. Simply one-word would be my answer. Isabella. My best friend.

I always had feelings for her. But I never told her. I regret it now. Because I would never get a chance to really tell her how I felt all those years. How her mere presence affected me.

I guess I have no one to blame but myself. I introduced her to Jacob. Jacob my other best friend. I guess I didn't think of the consequences of what would happen if I introduced my two best friends.

I never even in my dizziest day dreams would've thought that they would end up together. I watched in shock as he proposed to her. I had so many chances to tell her but I blew it each and everytime.

I just saw her face and how happy she was. And I couldn't bring myself to utter those three words that would change our lives forever.

I saw how happy he made her and ultimately he would give her a better life than I ever could. I guess it was for the best. And I could never live with myself if I ever hurt her knowing what I was.

I realized now that things probably wouldn't have changed even if I had told her. With each dawn a new opportunity arises and until this day I could never forgive myself for letting the best thing that ever happened to me walk out of my life forever.

I've always wondered why a person goes on when there is seemingly nothing left to believe in. When there is no more hope and you just wanna crawl somewhere and die. When you curse the sun for bringing you back to life again. But I just realized 

that you can't give up no matter how hopeless. There is always a small glint or portion of hope inside of you that is never distorted. It never goes away it shines brightly blazing. Giving you the courage and will that you never knew you had inside of you. And then your surprised when you look back to how helpless it wasn't all along. Bella was my ray of light my sun the reason I always went on.

What I regret more than anything was letting my foolish impulse drive me that day to do something I bitterly wish I could alter.

I just got up on the wedding day with a new found courage I never knew I had. I felt like a lion. I think I was finally read to tell her how I feel. I don't know what possessed me to even comprehend the fact that I would be probably be crashing the wedding.

I walked in and there she was in her off the shoulder dress. She looked stunning. Her dark brown curls cascading down her back. Her dark tan. She looked at me and smiled her brown eyes shimmering with love and hope. There was a special glint in her eyes.

I breathed deeply in and out. I braced myself to say something. "Bella I need to tell you something" I told her quietly. She turned to look at me confusing filling her eyes. " I just wanna say that I I love you" I said without meeting her eyes. I looked up and noticed she was crying.

"But I love him" She said quietly as the tears cascaded down her beautiful face. I hugged her and quietly got her to calm down.

" Listen Bella" I said as I looked her in the eyes. "I'm not asking you to choose. I know you never could. But I'm just telling you I can't be your best friend anymore not when I feel so much more for you" I said quietly as I released her.

" I understand I can't be so selfish having both of you". She said as she wiped away her tears and put on a smile.

"Bella" I said as I stroked her cheek. "You never have to choose and don't ever think you're selfish you're the most selfless person I've ever met" I said laughing slightly.

Despite herself she laughed through her tears. " I just want you to know that I'll always be there in the shadows waiting you won't know but I always will be your friend even if this is goodbye." I said quietly as I tried to keep my tears back.

"Hey this isn't goodbye" She said as she looked me in the eye. She smiled "This is just see you later" She said as she shaked my hand.

I shaked back and smiled. We hugged and then it was time for her to go. "Go get him kiddo" I said using her nickname. She laughed and went out. I went to stand in my place in the aisle at the back. I watched her go and I knew I was doing the right thing. 

The say when you love someone you should let them go and if they come back you were meant to be if not then you were never meant to be together to begin with. She didn't come back. So I knew now it was never meant to be.

I watched her walk down the aisle and just seeing how happy she was made me glad that I let her go. I don't care if I was miserable for the rest of my life as long as she was happy. She never looked back and I'm glad she didn't.

I know now it never was and never will be.


End file.
